12.31.08

Lilly's Birth Story, Part III: Post Partum

I've been keeping a list of things I want to remember in case I ever become daring enough to have another baby. I do think that knowing what to expect, in this case, is much scarier than going into it without a clue as to what lies ahead. But this is all part of Lilly's story and I want to remember every little detail.


1. Epidural swelling. It's no surprise that my swelling continued through labor and delivery. Even my elbows went missing for a couple days! But what really freaked me out was when I took a shower on Day 2 and as I was drying my lower back, I noticed lots of large lumps and bumps-- like snow mogels. It was also very tender, which I assumed was from the epidural and the accompanying injections. When I asked Nurse Jolene she just shook her head and said "You've got so much swelling, honey, your whole body is swollen." So really, it had nothing to do with the actual epi, which was a relief. But sure enough, before this whole party was over, I would have swelling from head to toe.


2. During the stitch-up/clean-up/recovery portion of the delivery, I vaguely remember hearing two nurses discussing conflicting gauze counts. One was getting 29, the other was getting 30. They started out with 30-- one was missing. Matt gave me the full story later. It turns out that in addition to a piece of gauze, a pair of scissors were also missing. Evidently, all that was once lost was eventually found. I'm hoping anyway:) I also heard two nurses discuss conflicting blood loss measurements. One thought I'd lost 500 units (Im not sure what units are used) and the other lowered her voice and said "Nooo, it was 750".


3. Which brings me to the Magnesium and Potassium. Once all of the chaos subsided and everything calmed down Nurse Jolene brought me a dose of Magnesium and a small cup of Potassium that was mixed with what tasted like orange soda on the rocks:) It was very salty, but after dying of thirst for hours and sucking the daylights out of crushed ice, I slurped that bad boy down in record time. Magnesium can sometimes cause extremely uncomfortable side effects, but thankfully I had none that I can remember.

4. In the 3rd trimester, I started snoring A LOT! It was so bad that I couldn't even stand myself! I hated falling asleep because it was a constant battle between my belly, my back and my adnoids. The great news is, the snoring is gone. My theory is that with all of the tissue and membrane softening a woman goes through later in pregnancy, the nose is no exception! I turned into a Pug for a good 6 weeks! Matt is also quite happy that this phase is over:)


5. The Post-partum shower. Also not as scary as I anticipated. I had the option of using a walk-in shower that was part of the Birth Center, but not in my room or the jacuzzi tub that had hand-held shower head. I chose to stay in my room and although it was tricky climbing in and out of the jacuzzi, it was worth it to have the privacy of my own bathroom.


6. Looking back and reading about Preeclampsia, it seems so obvious that I was headed down that road. I understand my doctor was following protocol and the absense of protein in my urine reflected that I did not have Pre-e until the day I was induced. Between my last 24 hour urine test and the one I finished the day of the induction, I went from a 210 to over 500. When I read about the condition, it's me to a T. I'm so thankful that once the bloodwork and everything was in, that Lilly was born healthy and beautiful. All those snafus along the way are nothing compared to what could have happened had Dr. S not been on top of things at the end.


7. Post-partum depression. I'm working on this one. I think it'll be a separate post and I've debated whether to even include it in Lilly's story because I don't want to cloud the blessing of her birth with negativity, but I feel like it's important to put out there in case anyone might feel or think the same way I've been. If it can help someone to see that childbirth isn't the same rosy, blissful experience for everyone then I'd want them to find that here.


8. Remember the kegel exercises you're supposed to do "all the time"? Well I didnt because they make me want to throw up. But guess what? I think I should have. Then again, maybe even the most dilligent Kegelcisor can't combat the force of shoving a watermelon out the hooha. What I'm saying is that for the first two days, it was very important to get out of bed and force myself to pee so I never got to the point of having to hold it. Because there wasn't a fiber of muscle around to help me out in that department! Thank goodness for the monster pads and mesh undies stashed plentifully on the back of my bathroom door! They may look frightening but I was sure to load up on them before checking out of the hospital!


9. Now for the good stuff. Normally I would never have shared how much weight I gained, but now that I see how much of it was water weight and NOT all of those Dairy Queen Blizzards and McDonalds double cheeseburgers, I must share. Priscilla and other swollen mommies-to-be, pay attention-- you're going to like this! I gained 47 pounds in 37 weeks. By day 5 PP, I had lost 37 of those. Today, 12 days PP, I am at my pre-pregnancy weight. I'm not breastfeeding. That was a HECK OF A LOT of fluid residing in my bod! It was in my eyelids, my face, my elbows... even my toes had rolls! But God gave me a big break after all those weeks of suffering by making darn sure it promptly left my body! Nothing changed during the first two days PP, but my doctor put me on a water pill for 6 days and it did the trick. Don't get me wrong, my tummy looks like a deflated balloon and feels like a bowl of pizza dough. That part will take some time! But I feel SO much better now that I can move... and FEEL my appendages:)

10. Some Before/After pics.

Before...







After...

12.31.08

(Coming later today... Lilly's Birth Story, Part 3: The Aftermath. (The guts, the gore and all the other gross stuff I promised))

Early this morning our power went out. Lilly had decided that this would be the night she'd give us a little reminder of Decemeber 21st-- just 10 days ago-- when we brought home the scariest little baby on the block. Thankfully Grandma is here this time around and has been relieving us of several nighttime feedings, which has allowed us to get the extra sleep we'd been lacking the first time around.

This time, we were able to think much more clearly and when all went dark and the temperature in our house dropped to a frigid level, among screams, chokes and cries from our 12-day old baby, Dad grabbed the carseat, I bundled Lilly up and off we went for a soothing drive. And it worked like a charm! Lilly didn't make a peep and Mommy enjoyed a few minutes of rest in the passenger seat.

While we drove, I heard a Rascal Flatts song I'd never heard before. I was glued to the radio as the words poured out, as if they'd come straight out of my head, speaking about this past year's ups and downs. I could listen over and over again. How perfect a time for this song to come into our world-- as we drove around a darkened small town at 3am, 12-day old in tow.

Rascal Flatts, "Here" (lyrics are in italics)


Today is the last day of 2008. When Matt and I lost our first baby on February 1st, we quickly lost hope for having a 2008 baby. 2009 seemed so far away-- too far away. Nothing about losing our sweet angel seemed fair. It was miserable to look around and see pregnant women, glowing and rubbing their tummies in wonder of what was to come. It seemed like everywhere else but in our little home becoming a mommy was so simple, so easy, so effortless. As angry and hurt as we were, we knew we had to hold our sweet baby in our hearts and bring her along for the ride. Never would we completely move on or forget what could have been. And that was our personal choice.

But God gently soothed our hearts, held our hands and led our hobbling family onward. When we found out we were expecting a January baby, we felt what all miscarriage survivors feel-- worry, anxiety, doubt, fear, guilt... and maybe a little bit of excitement. We often say that we feel jipped out of the naive experience of a first timer. The sheer bliss of not knowing how quickly it can all unravel and leave you heaped in a ball under the weight of the world.


There's a place I've been lookin' for that took me in and out of buildings, behind windows, walls and doors. And I thought I found it couple times, even settled down. And I'd hang around just long enough to find my way back out. I know now the place that I was trying to reach was you, right here in front of me.


Yet here we had been given exactly what we'd wished, prayed, begged and bargained for! After a few weeks of trepidation, we knew it was time to embrace our new little one and give her all the love our hearts could muster. If this journey should, too, be cut short, we wanted her to know she was loved every second of every day that she was with us.

And I wouldn't change a thing. I'd walk right back through the rain back to every broken heart on the day that it was breakin' and I'd relive all the years and be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here.


Nine months later and here we are experiencing what it is to be a Mom and Dad. How it feels to provide for every need our little girl has. To feel pride, fear, hope, anxiety, bliss, guilt, shock, terror, and joy all in one day and go to bed (for a couple hours anyway!) feeling whole and filled with love. Not only did Lilly arrive, bringing us full cirlce, but she even came a little early-- a 2008 baby was in store for us all this time. We just had to be patient and trust that God would deliver! And deliver he did! And although we know that God had the ultimate upper hand here, we like to think that our little Lilly had a small part in helping heal her Mommy and Daddy's hearts. She arrived just in time to give us the closure we needed and the renewed lease on life to provide everything in the world for our sweet girl. We love you, Lilly and we thank you for everything you have brought to our lives in the last 39 weeks! It's hard to believe that you should still be cooking inside my belly, but we are so blessed that you are here-- healthy and beautiful.


It's amazing what I let my heart go through to get me where it got me. In this moment here with you. And it passed me by God knows how many times. I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd find. I know now, there's a million roads I had to take to get me in your arms that way.

In a love I never thought I'd get to get to --here. And if that's the road God made me take to be with you...

12.27.08

Lilly's birth story, Part II

I believe it was somewhere around 6:00pm at this point, but to be honest the clock in the room was behind my bed, so I never really had much of concept of where we were in the evening.

The pitocin was started although I was having contractions on my own-- about a level 3 on the pain scale. A couple hours passed (seriously, I have no idea!) and the pain remained at a level 3-4. I was beginning to think this was going to be a breeze! I was somewhere around 4 cm, I believe. The nurse also determined that Lilly's head was now up very high-- after weeks of hearing how low she was and that her head was "RIGHT THERE!" that little stinker had scurried back up, perhaps one last attempt at changing her mind about the whole "light at the end of the tunnel" experience she'd been pushing for for the last 6 weeks.

My doctor decided it would be a good time to break my water, but after attempting to do so, decided I must have sprung a leak somewhere along the line because I had no water to break. Nurse Mindy and Murse Michelle noticed I didn't have much of anything when they first checked me earlier that afternoon and actually did two FFN tests that came back positive for amniotic fluid. I was stumped as I'm pretty sure I would have noticed, even if it was just a trickle. But because of this and not knowing when it actually happened (more or less than 24 hours before this point), I was started on an antibiotic. I had no fever though and because I had been having contractions on my own, we figured it probably happened sometime the night before.

At my next check I had progressed to 6cm and my doctor thought it would be better to have the baby's heart rate monitored through the scalp instead of the belly monitors. I'm not really sure why. At some point I quit asking questions and just got into position. Modesty only gets you so far at a time like this. Matt left the room to give his parents an update, and inside I felt like he needed to stay by my side. Perhaps it was because in the process of attaching the scalp monitor, my water broke! There it was! It wasn't much, so it probably had been leaking and I was too focused on waiting for contractions that I didn't notice.

It's true what they say about the pain worsening once the water breaks. WOWEE! At this point I opted for a dose of Nubane in my IV. It's the same narcotic I was given for my migraine a couple weeks earlier and it worked wonderfully! I was told it would work as well as I allowed for it to, so I relaxed myself and went to sleep. Unfortunately Nubane wears off after an hour to an hour and a half and the first dose is the best. I was slowly coming out of the sleepy stage and having to breathe through the contractions. I remember thinking I was the only person in the room-- it was so quiet. But I didn't want to open my eyes for fear of leaving "my place". I knew I needed to make a decision soon as to whether I would want an epidural-- and if I decided I wanted one, the anasthesiologist would need 10-15 minutes to get to the hospital.

Not wanting to bother the nurses (Why? I have no idea.) I waited for the next one to come and check on me. I decided to get one more dose of Nubane and asked her to order the epi. It's true that the first dose is the best-- the second just makes you really tired! And that anasthesiologist took NO 10-15 minutes to get there! Or maybe it did, but once he arrived he took his good sweet time getting his gear together and getting started. I could hear him in the hallway and the nurses kept telling me "He's here, he's coming" and I just kept telling myself "One more contraction and then he'll be here". One more turned into about 30 more, but finally he came in with his cart of goodness.

He was half very friendly and half a complete jerk. I suppose he had to be precise and stern with his directions though. This is not the time for dramatics. He had me sit up with my feet dangling over the side of the bed and my arms over Nurse Jolene's shoulders. THIS RIGHT HERE may have been the most painful part of the entire delivery. Not the needle, not the meds burning into my spine, not any of that. Simply having to A) sit up, B) hunch over so my back was surrounding my baby, and C) do so through contractions at a pain level of about 8. Three times during the labor and delivery do I remember letting out a panicked whimper-- once while waiting for the epi, once during and once while Lilly was half delivered!

Matt later told me that the epidural consisted of about 6 shots and then the line that stayed in my back. A couple days later I felt tape residue behind my neck and had to ask him where the world it came from-- the epi. My goodness, he went to town back there.

I have no idea what happened between then and push time, but before I knew it the nurses were saying something about being "full" and I had to ask "How many centimeters am I?" to find out that I was a full 10 cm, 100% effaced and ready to bring my little girl into the world.

Shoot.

I suppose I figured all would be fine after having JUST recieved the epidural. Please. That thing did nothing. And the Nubane had me still half asleep! The lights were turned off, the bed was raised up halfway to the ceiling and a big old spot light was rolled in to shed a little light on "my situation". But I could barely stay awake!

The thing about "my situation" was that I really had no choice but to do what the nurses told me and do it with everything I could muster. Matt was on my right side, Nurse Jolene was on my left and as I felt a contraction starting, I would grab onto two handles beneath my legs, Matt and Jolene would pull my knees back and I'd push the living daylights out of me. Usually it was 3 pushes for 10 seconds for each contraction. But sometimes I would have 2 contractions in a row. Or sometimes I'd have 3! So you can imagine, seeing as how I was halfway up to the ceiling, Matt and Jolene got quite a workout themselves! Both were stripping off clothes, sweating, stretching between contractions and deep breathing every chance they got!

I pushed for almost an hour and found that my doctor, although not the most helpful during my pregnancy, was a huge help in encouraging me. Everyone else around me was saying "Good job!", "You're doing it!". But Dr. S. was very quiet. Only occasionally would she say something like "THAT'S IT" and I would know I was doing it right. At the end of the hour, probably around 2:10am, out came Lilly's head and Dr. S. told me to stop. It was like having half of my arm chopped off, swinging around by a thread and being told "Hang on, I'll be there in a sec." I believe this is when the third whimper came about. The cord was wrapped around Miss Lilly's neck and just needed a little assistance. After what seemed like an eternity, I asked "What am I supposed to do?" and Nurse Jess said "Push your baby out, Momma!" So out she came, slipping and sliding into Dr. S's arms-- and nearly FALLING ON THE FLOOR! She was a wild child from birth:)

When the doctor put her on my chest, I remember feeling scared and a little detached from the experience. I was very emotional, but it wasn't what I expected. I think the drugs had gotten to me and the atmosphere of the dark room, being pumped up in the air (have I mentioned I was half way up to the ceiling?!), and the culmination of a very chaotic and unexpected day left me feeling... strange. All of that disappeared once I woke up hours later and saw her in her isolette-- it was like meeting her for the first time. She looked so different... so peaceful. I kept looking at her thinking "She's ours. We get to take her home ad keep her!"

It was a long, painful process and I'm definitely not to the point yet where I can say "once she was in my arms, I forgot about all the pain." I haven't and I'm sure I won't for a while. I love my little girl with my whole being and would do it again in a heartbeat, but I'm no fool. The pain of pregnancy, labor and delivery is still very fresh!


I know I promised gore, but it turns out my dad is now reading this and I don't think he wants to read about placentas, lost scissors and gauze or what the last week has brought (dear God). So I'll leave that to your imagination!

12.25.08 part 2

HO HO HO... it's Daddy Claus!!

12.25.08

Lilly's birth story, Part I.

On the morning of Thursdsay, Dec. 18th I had my regular NST appointment, followed by lab work, and then an appointment to "get things started naturally" at my weekly appointment. Matt was so sure that this would be the big day, that he took off both Thursday and Friday from work. I was a little hesitant about him doing this as he NEVER misses work and I had no idea if the procedure would actually kickstart labor or not. At our NST, we joked with our favorite nurse, Mindy, that today WOULD be the day. She just laughed and said "maybe you'll have a Christmas baby afterall". I don't think she expected to see us walking back through the doors a few hours later.

At my 9:30 appointment Dr. S checked me and I was 3-4 cm dilated, 80% effaced. She also told me that she was waiting on lab results from my bloodwork and my 24 hour urine protein, which I'd been doing once a week for the previous couple weeks. It was the one factor missing from diagnosing Pre-ecclampsia, despite the swelling, high blood pressure, headaches and seeing spots. She told me that the week before it had been 210 and if it was over 300 this time, we would need to induce. I figured it would come in around the same as last time.

Matt and I came home and I gathered some of my things together, just in case. Thankfully I did a little cleaning, but the swelling had reached its peak and I was barely able to walk without pain and major discomfort so the cleaning didn't last long. I made a phone call to the hospital to ask about a bill from our child birth class and as I was on the phone with them, I got a text from my doctor that said "PLEASE CALL". I quickly got off the phone and as I was dialing her office, my phone rang and it was her telling us to get to the hospital right away as my level was over 500 and my platelets were low.

I looked at Matt from the bedroom and gave him a huge-eyed "OH MY GOSH" look, hung up the phone and suddenly had no idea what to do! I started cleaning the kitchen counter tops, straightening pillows, and making sure nothing embarrassing was lying around (you know, like a breast pump on the kitchen table?!), Matt jumped in the shower, I had a heart-to-heart with Midas... ALL very important things to take care of, right?! Within a half hour we were on our way.

We registered and were greeted by all the registration ladies who had taken care of me over the last several weeks. They were so excited to know that today was finally the big day! I received one last hospital bracelet (or so I thought) and we were on our way to the Family Birth Center. We walked into the birth center and got lots of laughs from the nursing staff since we had totally called it. After seeing these women several times a week and having been taken such good care of by them, it was like having part of our family with us right away.

Instead of being sent to Rm. 202 (one of the observation rooms) where I always went for NSTs, and where I spent the evening doped up on narcotics and tranquilizers... and actually where it all started with my pre-term labor madness, we were sent to Room 204... a REAL L&D room!



Unfortunately lots of lab work was required before getting anything started. Waiting on the results took THREE long hours, during which I was told I probably would not be able to have an epidural because of my low platelets. I think they told us anything under 1000 is too low and I was about 1500 so the anesthesiologist was leaning towards "No". I wasn't too terribly upset as I was completely open to whatever kind of labor would bring a healthy baby into the world, whether that be with the use of a narcotic, an epidural or nothing at all (ha, yeah right).

Just as we were cleared to start the pitocin and the bag was being hung on the IV pole, everything came to a halt. The "higher up" from a couple weeks ago who my doctor consulted with (and who we found out is our neighbor) about my BP, was on the phone wanting an ultrasound of my leg veins. He was concerned about Deep Venous Thrombosis as my swelling had become pretty severe. I could barely bend at the knee (and yet I had to do so in order to get this child out!) and my skin was so tight and hard that it was shiny.



Within minutes, the lights in the room were turned off and 2 sonographers rolled their machine into the room to do a scan of both my legs, starting at the groin and then moving along each vein, down to my ankles. The first sonographer took the wand and started to press it into my right groin then stopped and said "I'm not comfortable going any further." She looked at the second sonographer and they both shook their heads, pointed to the monitor (which I couldn't see) and whispered. Matt and I were suddenly sick with fear. Before I knew it, I was counting 10 people surrounding my bed. There was lots of whispering, more head shakes, and several staff members "stepping out of the room for a moment". Matt overheard one nurse mention transporting. He asked one of the sonographers what all of this meant, but of course she couldn't tell us anything. She just said that it would need to be treated right away and would require hospitaliztion. OK, great. And what about my baby??? And these platelets? And the protein? I couldn't possibly push out a baby with a blood clot in my groin, nor could I undergo a c-section with one. This is when I suddenly felt like it could all be over. I'm sure that was an overreaction on my part, but I swear to God, once you suffer a loss, the fear never goes away.

While waiting for word from my doctor, the sonographer tried to do the rest of my leg, but it was so hard that she had to stand and lean into my leg, her whole upper body shaking. She was able to get good flow from my knee down, as well as all throughout my left leg. That was good! After saying a couple more times that she was scared to press on my right groin and that they weren't used to doing OB patients, she had me lean a little to the right and then she went for it. Talk about a scary moment. I was prepared to see a white light at the end of a long tunnel. OK, dramatic, yeah. But I really was scared-- and MAD! Matt and I kept looking at each other with eyes that screamed "lawsuit!" After all those weeks of telling my doctor that something was wrong and being told "it's normal" here we were going through this. Turned out, a little repositioning was all it took to get the blood flowing enough to rule out DVT. Praise God and get the pitocin going!!

Coming tomorrow...Part II, things start to get gory!!

12.24.08

It's Christmas Eve!

I can't believe it's Christmas Eve and Matt, Lilly, Midas and I are all snuggled up in the living room (watching "What About Bob" hehe). We are a family of 3 and life is good!

I'm still amazed by how different this homecoming has been compared to the first time. Matt and I feel like we were so much more prepared the second time and were able to relax and be calm about the transition. We think the dog and the baby sensed our tension the first time, but this time, it's all good!

Last night we gave Lilly her first sponge bath, fed her and started the classic Winnie the Pooh story with her. Sure, she had no idea what Daddy was reading to her (shoot, even he and I were confused-- A.A. Milne's writing is kind of nuts and doesn't make much sense most of the time) but it was nice to have that down time before bed and to start a tradition-- and to smell her fuzzy, clean hair while she filled her belly in bed. We were all so calm and relaxed... Lilly never cried once all night and I couldn't get over how EASY the night went. Every time I got back in bed, Matt and I snuggled up to the sound of her little noises and giggled at how darn cute she is. He told me Lilly is lucky to have me for a Mommy... but I feel like the luckiest mommy in the world to have her as my daughter. I would do anything for her.

12.23.08

We are home and life is gooooood! Lilly is a completely different person now that she is eating, isn't full of crazies in her blood and has POOPED! Matt and I were so proud of the poops:) We're officially parents.

Thank you for all the encouragement and kind words!! It's so fun sharing our little girl with everyone!

12.23.08

Eek, things never seem to settle down around here. Matt and I came home just long enough to shower and head back to the hospital... Lilly gave us a heck of a night Sunday and it turned out she had shrunk down to just 5lbs 14 oz and was literally starving... on top of having a billirubin level of 21! Her pediatrician, who we absolutely love, estimated her to be around an 11 in his office, so imagine how shocked we were to hear it was almost double that! So needless to say, we've been in the hospital praying for quick improvement. And as of this morning she is down to a 15!!

Here are a few pics of our sweet Lilly. You can see why I've been an emotional basketcase!!

12.21.08

World's Fastest Post!

After a whirlwind of doctor's appointments Thursday morning, Matt and I came home to wait for things to get started, but before we knew it, we were on the phone with my doctor who was telling us to get the hospital right away to be induced. My bloodwork showed extremely high urine protein and low platelets. So in a very panicky/excited/hullaballoo, we quickly threw our things together and rushed off to the hospital!

A more detailed version of this is coming, but we had a big scare involving a blood clot (that thankfully didn't exist afterall) and visions of going home empty handed. It was terrifying. Thankfully God had us covered and at 2:11am, our daughter was born!!

I am so happy to introduce to you... Lillian "Lilly" Rebbecca C. We are absolutely enamored:) (More pics to come-- I am so mad at myself for accidentally turning on some crazy camera setting so my pics are all really grainy. If anyone can help me fix this, I would be so grateful. These are such priceless moments!!)





You can see how teeny tiny she is in that carseat! Even her newborn outfit from Auntie Lisa is hanging off of her little bod. She was 6lbs 15.5 oz at birth and is down to 6lb 6oz today, but if she keeps up nursing like she did for 3.5 hours straight this morning, she should be plumping up quickly!

12.17.08

On the eve of what will hopefully be either Little Beansie's birthday or the day we go into labor, I bring you... my feet:)

This is from last Sunday, but I have enough pictures of my mis-shapen feet saved to my hard drive as it is. Hopefully these suckers will be on their way out very soon! (As I type I cannot feel the backs of my thighs... completely numb, ackkk.)




Here's to hoping for...
*One last NST at 8am
*One last OB visit at 9:30am
*No more 24 hour urine collections
*LITTLE BEANSIE'S BIG ARRIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12.16.08

I wonder what your nesting tasks say about you as a person. Perhaps if I wasn't so swollen and incapacitated I would be able to nest a little more, but as of today, it's been pretty limited. Juggling the blood pressure and the Lincoln Log legs does not a tidy housekeeper make. (That is where husbands come into play! More on that in a minute.)

So here are the nesting projects I have completed:

Shop online
Wrap presents
Ship presents
Buy 2 cases of toilet paper
Clean bathrooms
Buy grocery staples
Eat all the grocery staples
Read about weeks 36-40, Labor & Delivery, and the first week of baby's life

As you can see, it's a good thing I'm not single. Poor/Valiant/Amazing Matt, however, has been a nesting maniac! And might I add that these chores were self-started. I had nothing to do with any of these crazy ideas.

Set up Pack 'n Play
Practice strapping baby into carseat
Practice snapping seat in/out of base
Force wife to practice carseating
Figure out how to use a diaper
Straighten crooked furniture
Grocery shopping
De-clutter
Sweep entire house
Wash sheets
Get Diaper Champ ready
Stock up on frozen food items (and keep them a secret so wife won't eat them all)
Re-de-clutter all the crap that wife has since accumulated
Install batteries in baby papason
Set up baby monitors
Buy distilled water for vaporizer because wife NEEDED it right away
Wonder why, 4 days later, distilled water is still sitting next to vaporizer, unopened, but never mention a word about it
Help wife put underwear on while she cries that she's too swollen to bend
Say nice things like "It's OK, this is all part of being pregnant" instead of laughing at the sight of his swollen, pregnant, crippled wife hunched over the bed underwearless and sobbing

Clearly this man is much better suited for pregnancy than me. If only we could trade places next time. I am beyond thankful for what he does for our little family:)

12.15.08

I am SO excited to write today's post!!! I'm not quite sure where to even begin.

So I'll start with yesterday. It was perhaps the worst day of my pregnancy. I was extremely emotional, crying at the drop of a hat, slumped over the bed while Matt and I tried to change the sheets, sobbing as I checked off all the labor positions I would NOT be able to attempt due to my increasingly swollen legs that can barely bend (picture it: lying in bed, tears streaming, mascara everywhere, What to Expect When You're Expecting in hand, checking off each picture with my bookmark, crying "Can't do that one, Can't do that one, Can't do that one" while Matt brushed his teeth. These incidents went on all day.

As did my persistent lower back ache, lower abdominal cramping, other unmentional TMI, contractions, and severe pain in my feet, ankles and backs of my thighs from the swelling. This little person inside of me also chose to take it very easy... almost too easy. Just when I would think "OK, enough. Something isn't right," she'd give me an "Oh, Mom, dont worry so much" thump and I'd relax a little. I was a MESS. But a hopeful mess! Maybe, just maybe these were all the pre-labor symptoms I'd been reading about. MAYBE I wouldn't have to wait 12 more days after all!

So this morning I went in for my routine NST. It went a little longer than last time, but each test seems to get a little longer than the last, so I was prepared for that. I arrived at 7am so I'd have time to make it to my 8:45 appt around the corner. I left the hospital at 8:40... this little girl is keeping us all on our toes! I think everything was OK, she was just being a little mysterious about her ways. I was able to have a heart-to-heart with my two favorite nurses regarding the insane swelling and the fact that my doctor keeps brushing it off. She gave me her opinion, told me that she will continue to tell my doctor that it needs attention and gave me a couple suggestions for how to help myself.

I was feeling pretty good about things when I got to my appt... so good that I didn't even break down when the office toilet wouldn't flush for me. Yesterday this would have put me right over the edge, probably to a place involving a lot of snot and puffy eyes (beyond the puffiness I'm toting around my eyeballs already). I didn't care that my wieght is reaching a number I hoped to never see-- I blame it on water weight, you see:) I didn't care that I, once again, I had flop my beached self down on my side to rest when my BP was up too high.

Then in came my doctor. She smiled, she asked about my weekend, she went over my ultrasound results (three things I rarely encounter!). I told her about my day yesterday. She asked about my swelling. She checked the baby's heart beat. Wait, back it up. She asked about my swelling! And measured my legs! And told me they are "very swollen"... HOT DOG! We're getting somewhere!

She told me that based on yesterday's symptoms, it would be a good idea to check me today. Despite the fact that I could not get my tree trunk right leg to bend far enough to suit her usual demanding exam position, she was able to tell me I'm now 3 cm and more thinned out than last time! Last time was 70%, so whatever "more" means, I'll take it. And then do you know what happened next???

She stripped my membranes:) I felt like a kid on Christmas morning!! She did a gentle sweep today and plans to do the big kahuna strippage on Thursday, but is having me get all my lab work done early this week, just in case:) And as I was leaving the office and I called out "See you Thursday!" she smiled and said "Maybe sooner!"

And THAT is why today is a WONDERFUL day!!! Please baby girl, come on out! Let's avoid all that pitocin and whatnot and get right to it. Doctor says your head is "right there" so let's see that beautiful face of yours!! I'm getting jealous of all these nurses and doctors who get to touch your head before Daddy and me! I even wrapped a couple "birth day" gifts for you last night. They are under the Christmas tree just waiting for you to see!

12.14.08

Yesterday Matt and I were shopping at a Christian bookstore and as we got back into the car he mentioned that he was looking at a Top Christian Names book and our mystery name, both first and middle, were listed. He told me their meanings and gave me his rationalization for why we should name her this (which was funny considering he's the one who has needed a little more convincing all along).

We have a tradition of filling stockings for each other, but on top of that we alternate years filling a second stocking for the other person. We got a little off last year since we spent Christmas in Lake Tahoe, so last night while wrapping presents, Matt tells me "I think instead of one of us filling the stocking for the other, we should fill it for _____ together."

I looked at him like "So she has a name?" and he just smiled. So our little girl has a name. An official name:) And thank the Lord she'll be here in 12 days of less because I am a big, fat, miserable mess!!! Check back later for an update on THAT! Pictures will be involved.

12.13.08

Back in September, I posted a prayer request for my hubby who was having a little anxiety over his first graduate classes, new job, not having his text books, etc. Well, if any of you prayed for him, THANK YOU! He is officially finished with hs first two classes and although he doesn't know his final scores, he had a 100% in Community Relations and had missed 2 points in School Law going into the final term papers. I am so proud of him! His brave soul has me edit his papers before submitting them, which makes me feel like a smarty pants and makes him look like a genious (wink, wink) so it's a total win-win situation, right?! Actually, I barely change anything aside from a comma here and a hyphen there. He has developed into quite the talented writer! I really mean it when I say I am VERY proud of him. Can you tell? Last night he asked me "Do you know how liberated I feel to not have ANY work to do?" For a 27-year old high school principal who often feels in over his head and who is days away from having his first child, I can only imagine how relieving it must feel to have a little break.

Today we went Christmas Shopping/Labor Inducing. Here's the thing about walking around the mall at Christmas time in an attempt to get labor started-- it's darn exhausting! So if by chance it works, I'm going to be asleep before the nurses even get the monitors strapped on. It's really not that brilliant of an idea. Plus peole LOVE to comment on a pregnant woman shopping at the mall at Christmas. Everyone's got someting to say. I got one belly rub (although it was someone I know AND she asked... and belly rubs don't bother me anyway), a "When are you due?" conversation by a lingering pregnant Victoria's Secret salesperson (as if I wasn't feeling awkward enough 8 months pregnant in a store based upon sex and wearing as little clothing as possible... which is why I was looking at slippers!), a "You look like you're about to burst" from a man at a shoe store, and an "I was never that round when I was pregnant" by a passerby to her mother. At first I was insulted but then she went on to say "I was always droopier" and I felt a little better about my perky, round, massive, bursting, 8 month pregnnat belly:)

And I'll leave you with the following cuteness that took place this morning after climbing back into bed with Matt. (I usually last about 30 minutes in our bed before moving to the guestroom each night)

Me: (whispering) Hi, Weezie!

Matt: Hey, Feeze. Is Boomptzy here?

Me: Who, the dog? Give him a second.

Matt: (Reaching over to my belly) No, Little Beansie. Is she coming?

Me: Nope, she's sleeping.

Matt: Let's wake her up.

*I think someone's excited for his little girl to get here:)*

12.12.08

The ultrasound showed a very healthy baby with a very healthy amount of amniotic fluid. Hooray! Normal levels range between 5 and 25. The last ultrasound measured 27 and today it was 18, so I don't think it was ever too much of a problem, but I didn't know that number until today. So last night when I decided to Google "excessive amniotic fluid" on a whim (I wasn't even worried about it, so I don't know what possessed me to do this), imagine the horror when I started seeing words like "prolapsed cord" and "placental abruption". Thankfully all is great though.

Her head, once again, was extremely low, so I didn't really see much of her face, which has been the case the last 3 ultrasounds, but the sonographer caught a good head measurement and predicted 6lbs 3oz. I'm so excited to meet my little baby!! If she doesn't come on her own, we're looking at 2 weeks from today! December 26, 2008.

36 weeks

12.11.08

I'm changing my name to Geri. As in geriatric... my week now revolves around doctors appointments, urine specimens and bloodwork. All for my kiddo;)

Everything was fairly decent today. My NST stretched out a little longer bc it wasn't picking up full accelerations, so they didnt count, but we got it straightened out. Then the alarm kept going off every 5 mins after it would take my BP because it was up/down/up/down, but what's new there?! In the end, I was good to go. And I had my 2 favorite nurses who actually giggled when they told me their names because at this point, let's be real. We're like family according to the one who taught our child birth class. And I'm appreciative of that comment because personally I feel like that crazy freak woman who can't stay out of the ER because she's addicted. But I digress.

On to my OB appt (seriously, all of this took 3 hours. It's a good thing I'm off work, eh?) where my BP was back up and my doctor informed me that I need another u/s (making this #6... and I wondered if I would get more than 1. P'shaw.) because the one on Dec. 1st showed high fluid. Now, wouldn't you think she would have brought that up sometime in the last 6 visits?! I asked her what that meant, and in true sketchy doctor fashion she just said "let's see what tomorrow's u/s shows and go from there." When I brought up that 38 weeks will be Xmas day (the day she wants to induce) she laughed and said maybe we could do it earlier if there's a medical reason and to see what the u/s shows.

Hopefully the u/s shows a little girl waving a sign that says "Ready!" That way Daddy will be home for 2 whole weeks on Christmas break! What a bonus that would be!

12.9.08

I feel like such a MOM today! I made my first call to my child's pediatrician:)

It was only to get her set up as a patient, but I've been really nervous for weeks about making this call, mostly because my doctor is also a pediatrician and I've been worried about hurting her feelings by not sticking with her, but as frustrated as I've been with my own care, I can't go through that with my baby. The doctor we chose comes highly recommended and is the doctor I really should have gone with for myself, but you live and learn:) And now he's no longer taking OB patients, so go figure.

One out that I have is that my current doctor's office (and to clarify, our current family physician is in the same office as my OB, who is also a family physician and a pediatrician... if this is making ANY sense) does not do vaccinations in the office. I would have to take LB to the Health Dpt. which isn't something I'd really care to do. We're splitting up her "cocktail" vaccines as much as possible, so I'm looking at extra trips as it is, so I need to think convenience wherever possible, which makes this doctor even more favorable. He goes to our church (we go to his?) and I feel very comfortable with him, even though we've never...actually... met him!

And I must say I am hugely impressed that someone answered the phone in the office at 12:30, whereas my current office closes from 12-2 every day. I call enough parents of sick kiddos at school to know that the pediatrician's office will become our second home at times, so accesibility is important.

So, Little Beansies, I hope you are happy with the choice Mommy and Daddy made. As soon as you make your entrance into this world, we'll all have a nice little party at the hospital:) How's tomorrow sound??

Somewhere between 35 and 36 weeks

12.8.08

Hope you all had a great weekend! My mom was here for the weekend, which was a nice distraction from the 24/7 baby thoughts that take over one's mind when there's nothing else going on. My days revolved around keeping this baby in for 3 weeks and now it's all about keeping my blood pressure down and getting the baby out! It was a nice weekend though.

This week I start twice weekly NSTs and twice weekly appts. with my doctor. I've been on the blood pressure medication for 5 days, so we'll see how it's working. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I'm relieved that it (hopefully) has fixed the problem for the time being, but on the other hand, I am not a medication kind of girl and would much prefer going straight to the source of the problem and fixing it that way-- yes, I want induced. On Friday my doctor told me that if 2 doses a day don't seem to be working by today, we can always up it to 4 a day. No way. And I don't want to wait until 38.5 weeks.

I don't feel healthy, I don't feel that I'm doing a service to my baby keeping her inside of me past 37 weeks and I don't want to medicate the problem when it could potentially mean going straight to a c-section when the big moment arrives-- and if my BP continues to be a problem for 3 more weeks, I worry that it would just continue to get worse. Of course I could be wrong and as a mom-to-be, it's my job to worry. I'm just wearing thin and want my baby here safe, healthy and in my arms. Like I said, go straight to the sourece-- she's a great, healthy weight and by 37 weeks she should be up to at least 7 lbs! I know there's more involved with lung development, but I feel the benefits will outweigh anything else.

****

Update:

Well, my BP was still high so she wanted to up the dosage to 3x day, and possibly 4x day if that doesn't work. I voiced my concerns about medicating my BP problem and how I'm not completely comfortable with medicating something past the point of it being necessary (ie: full term). I made sure she felt in control as the doctor and stressed that I will do what she feels is best, medically, but that I am a little concerned.

She pretty much agreed and said there's debate whether full term is 37 or 38 weeks and the "higher up" who she talked to last week recommended inducing at 38.5 weeks. She said she felt 38 would be better... which made me really happy... until I looked at the calendar after my appt and saw that would be Christmas day! I doubt she'll do it before 38 weeks, so it'll probably still end up being more like 38.5 unless I can sugar her up;) I'd really like to have her here before Christmas since Matt will be off work for Xmas break... but obviously that's not a very good reason in a doctor's eyes.

We'll see. NST was great and my 24 hr urine came back with no protein, so still no pre-e, phew! I'll do another one this Thursday with more bloodwork, just to keep on top of it. You'd think my doctor would be tired of me and just want me delivered and done:)

During my NST my mom asked, with a laugh, if I was ready to start thinking about our next one (meaning our next child). The thought of being pregnant again couldn't be farther from my mind. I just couldn't even imagine. It wasn't easy getting pregnant, it wasn't the easiest staying pregnant, and save for about weeks 15-25, it hasn't been a smooth ride on the pregnancy train. I'd carry this little blessing for another 9 months if that's what she needed, but another one? Not at this time.

12.5.08

It's been a heck of a week, to say the least. I hadn't even had a chance to update on yesterday afternoon's happenings before the next round of issues arose. To put it simply, my blood pressure continues to be a problem (181/111?!) and L&D and I are becoming close friends.

I currently have a bottle of pee collecting in my refrigerator.

I spent a few hours getting IV pain medication in L&D last night while Matt was at work, cell-phone-less, with no way of being reached until 9pm.

The swelling continues.

I'm on blood pressure medication.

After handing over my bottle of pee to the nurse (gotta keep it for 24 hours! including trips to the hospital), I promptly vomitted my dinner everywhere.

NST's twice a week.

Delivery by 38.5 weeks, but that was determined before the L&D trip, so who knows if that will stay the same.

Follow-up today at 3:45. Matt is coming along. We're hoping for the I word.

It's a darn good thing I'm not working, what with the 4 trips to the doctor and 3 to the hospital this week.


Can you see how I would be ready for this baby to be here now?

12.4.08

Last night Matt and I were watching TV in bed (no, let me rephrase that-- Matt was watching men beat each other senselessly (UFC?), while I asked repeatedly, "Are you sure there isn't anything else on?") and LB was carrying on like a wiggle worm. Matt reached over to feel and after a minute or two said, "Why don't you go pick out a book and we'll read to Beansie?" I felt like a little kid, running to pick out the LONGEST book I could find in Beansies' collection of board books. Since most are only about 4 cardboard pages long, I took TWO and dove back into bed.

The first one was called "Welcome, Winter!" and has something to touch on each page-- fuzzy snowflakes, scratchy glittery wind gusts, fleece mittens and the coolest of all CRUNCHY SNOW! I don't know what it's made of, and I don't know if Matt and I were deprived of such cool entertainment as kids, but we couldn't keep our hands off of the feely things. Especially that crunchy snow!

The second book is probably going to become my all-time favorite Beansie book. One of Matt's teachers gave it to him and he came home and read it to the baby the same night. It's hilarious, but I cried through the whole thing. It doesn't get much sweeter than watching a Daddy read to his baby... especially when the story is called "Daddy's Girl". I have no idea where this book was found, but it's a New York Times Best Seller, so evidentally it's pretty popular! Check out the first 2 pages:

The prettiest legs I ever did see
Belong to a lady who belongs to me!

Lift up her legs and take off the diaper,
Get a damp cloth and carefully wipe her.

Up with the ankles, swish with a rag,
Throw away the diaper in the diaper bag.

Lay down a clean one, tape it shut,
Beautiful baby with a nice clean butt!

The book ends with a little bonus story about dancing together and the daddy telling his little girl to go out and experience the world, but every now and then don't forget about your old man.

Oh, baby, won't you dance with me?
Little Baby, bouncing on my knee,
Wave your hands and shake your feet.
Oooh, baby, you're so sweet.
Of all the babies you're the fattest one,
You big-leg woman are a load of fun.

Ahh, it is too, too funny. If you need a book for a gift or are expecting a little girl, you MUST buy this book! "Daddy's Girl" by Garrison Keillor

12.3.08

Another day, another trip to Labor & Delivery.

Because of my skyrocketing blood pressure and my fear of being an annoying patient, I've taken to checking my blood pressure at those pharmacy BP stations. Yeah, those gross things. But it's much quicker than going to the doctor and does the job:)

Well, today it told me my BP was 160/102-- the highest I've ever seen it. I was worried when it was 142/118. My OB's office closes at noon on Wednesdays and thankfully it was only 11:30. The office is literally 2 minutes from CVS so I called and asked if I could stop in for a check. By the time I got there it was 180/108! After lying down, as usual, it went back down to what's becoming "normal" for me-- somewhere around 145/90, which is really not a healthy BP. Before all this started I was usually about 120/70.

Anyway, my doctor sent me to L&D for bloodwork, another urine test, and an NST. All looked good, and some levels were even a little low, which is a huge relief. Had some contractions during the NST, but nothing that meant anything. Baby looked perfect:) And I'm now 70% effaced.

I have a follow-up appt. Friday and although the nurses tossed out the idea of induction, that is probably the last thing my doctor would bring up. I may have to throw out how HORRIFIED the nurses were at my swelling that goes "clear up to your knees!" You know, the swelling that is "perfectly normal". I had two of them examining both legs at the same time. All Dr. Notworthadarnthing has done is poke me once or twice and that was only to appease me because Matt was giving her the evil eye.

So... stay tuned! I think LB is getting tired of being called Beansies and wants everyone to know her REAL name;)

12.1.08 part 2

The following conversation took place while laying on the couch together this afternoon. Somewhere in mid-sentence I chose to wiggle my model feet for Matt to behold and enjoy... because I have HOT feet right now.

Matt: JEEZ-us!

Me: And yet they are perfectly normal. (In reference to my doctor's professional observation this morning.)

Matt: If you're a... COW.

Me: Smack (a la Kate Gosselin). Matt. That was mean.

Matt: Well look at 'em!

So you wanna see??? Huh, huh? Wanna see what COW FEET look like at 35 weeks pregnant? Well, OK then. You asked for it.





My 35 week swelling puts my 32 week swelling to shame!




And yet... they are perfectly normal:) And if anyone tells me to watch my sodium, drink more water or elevate my feet, I will clobber you with my hooves:)

12.1.08

Wow, Beansies could be born this month! Happy December!!

We had an ultrasound this morning and all went really well. She is measuring 5lbs 6 oz, but that could be off by up to 6 oz. So really, she could be 5lbs or 5lbs 12 oz. Either way, I am SO releived she's at least 5 pounds and has moved into the 61st percentile, up from the 50th a month ago.

From that appointment, we went to my weekly appt. and everything went well there. We discussed pediatricians, vaccinations, breast feeding... BIRTH CONTROL among other topics that caught me by surprise. This is really happening. And before long, I'll have to be worrying about birth control again. Although I can't even imagine... well, you know where that is going.

No internal today. Doctor doesn't want to risk "getting things going" so we skipped a week just to be on the safe side. Blood pressure was up again, but after laying on my side, it came back down. Matt thought it was a little rude when the nurse took my BP then looked at me, sighed, and said "You know the drill" (meaning, lay down, sister... I'll be back in a few.) I thought it was funny, myself. He is not a fan of anyone at that office, I don't think. (Especially my doctor.)

So, another week down! And it's looking like Little Beansies will make it to 35 weeks with no problem:)