Sunday, August 26, 2007


I love to travel. When Matt and I got married, one of the wedding shower "games" was for everyone to write down a piece of marital advice for Matt and me. Half the people in attendance were either single, divorced or living in sin (GASP!), which made me laugh (Matt's family threw it, so only I seemed to find the humor in the situation), but my step-dad's advice was to always have a vacation in the works so you always have something to look forward to with each other. I will take that to my grave! In fact, if I'm 105 and find out I'm on my last lap, I'll probably book a trip and refuse to die til I get back. Anyway, the point is, I just booked another trip:)

But not just any trip! I booked through Skybus and chose a destination that offered $10 tickets, so on January 19th, Matt and I are off to Chicopee, MA! True, it's funny to say, but seeeeriously, the whole shebang, including taxes and fees cost $70. Mmm hmm. OK, the hitch. We fly into an Air Force Base... that is, if we actually get there and this whole thing isn't a scam. But then we're renting a car and driving to the Mystic Seaport where MYSTIC PIZZA was filmed!

OK, and THEN! I've never used Priceline before, but decided to give it a try and found the nicest hotel in the area and it was going for $249 a night so I was all punk about it and named my price at $100... well, that didn't fly. But $125 did:)

So that's where we're off to for MLK Jr./President's/Groundhog... whichever it is... Day, weekend, in January. With any luck it will be pretty and wintery, but it will probably just be cold. But shoot, we're staying at a sssssspa, so gimme some pizza and a mud mask and I'll be set. Maybe a Miller Lite too.

Thanks for the advice!

Friday, August 24, 2007


Somewhere between teaching the class of 2021 the difference between "thick" and "thin" and the definition of an amphibian, I lost the mental capacity to know that August is month #8... see the dates/titles of my blogs this month and you'll see what I mean.

And now for some of the funny (and gross) stuff I encounter at work:)

(background info: John Henry is 3 years old and comes to my classroom for a half hour every morning... I spend my days with 4 year olds, and believe me, there is a HUGE difference)

Me: John Henry, you have a COOL name! Is that your dad's name too?
JH: (blank stare)
Me: What's your dad's name?
JH: Daddy

About 15 minutes later I hear a commotion coming from the table next to the bathroom (we have a bathroom attached to our room).

Group of kids: Can you wipe? Wipe! Can you do it?
Me: Hmmm, what's going on? (I notice the bathroom door is open and the light is on. On the mini pot... is John Henry.)
Me: Hey, Buddy! Did you go potty?
JH: Blank stare, then a nod.
Me: OK, let me grab some gloves. Sit tight!
JH: Blank stare.
Me: (I return) OK, stand up. Here we go!
JH: Look at my poop, Miss Katie! It really big. It looks like a squooshy snake.

Emma: What's wrong, Ethan?
Ethan: I had a bloody nose.
Emma: I'll pray for you.

Ethan walks away

Emma: I love you, Ethan!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


Ask and you shall receive... Jennie, this is for you:

Or, if you prefer the video version, you'll get a giggle out of how serious the woman looks when she says "rectal gel".

Note, however, that the syringe shown in the picture does no justice to the actual size of the thing... in real life it is HUGE.


Thankfully, the crisis has been averted and I will no longer have to take care of this, although I feel pretty bad about it. But seriously, I am NOT the one for the job!! And now that I've blogged about it like a cruel jerk, God will surely send me an epileptic child someday.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007


I might have to administer Valium to a 4-yr old via da booty at work. I'm scared to death.

If I had a scanner I'd scan my instruction manual, complete with da butt hole.

Friday, August 17, 2007


Also, remember these little buttercup flowers that you held under your chin and if it reflected yellow it meant you like butter? What ever happened to them? The other day a girl resorted to waving a clover under my chin and declared that no, I do not like butter.


What is the protocol for public restroom chitter chatter? What I mean is, say you and a coworker are chatting together while walking down the hallway, and then it turns out you're both headed to the restroom. Then you get there and you're still in the middle of your conversation... do you stop until both are finished peeing or do you just keep talking from your respective stalls? Perhaps it differs depending on how well you know the person. I dunno. What I do know is that this happened to me and I got severe stage fright when it came time to start peeing.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


In honor of the gorgeous weather, Matt and I took the doggies camping last night. We drank, we played cards, we stared at the fire. It was lovely:)

Except for the part where we forgot all of our clothes and our toothbrushes at home. Needless to say, it was a chilly night!

Sunday, August 12, 2007


Hi guys! I've started this blog about 4 times over the last 4 days and keep getting distracted. What I'm trying to say is that I have my pics uploaded, but they're on Myspace and Facebook for now. Here's my Myspace until I can get a lil slideshow action going on my blog:)

But here are a few for now:)

Sunday, August 5, 2007


Hi friends!
I'm baaaaaack! Jamaica was a-maz-ing. Despite having given ourselves 3 extra days of vacation at my parents' lake house, I'm still depressed and dreading my return to work tomorrow. And the gloomy rainy day we're having doesn't help:(

Pictures are a'coming! Only there's one small problem. First I was pist at myself for not taking the little cord that connects the camera to the computer to my parents' house so I could upload pics asap. Then I got over that and now that we're home I'm even more pist at myself bc I left my camera at my parents' house! And they're on vacation all this week! We're going back down in 2 weekends, so I guess I'll just have to wait... so in two weeks check back for the world's longest photo blog.