Monday, March 31, 2008


Instead of telling you all about how I spent my lunch break crying up and down the aisles of Target, I am going to dedicate this post to my dear friend, Andrea, who has been getting raped in the backside by her graduate school work. Andrea is going to become the hottest Librarian this world has ever laid eyes on in a matter of, what like a year?? Practically? And she's working her a$$ off to get there. And because of it, I never get to talk to her. But that's OK becuase someday she will be a rich director of all things intelligent and sophisticated and she will buy me a yacht for girl's weekends. And all will be well again:)

(I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!)

Cheese. Arf. Flush.

Sunday, March 30, 2008


I went to a Body Shop party last night and had so much fun making myself soft and pretty smelling. Those parties are so much fun! You would think it would be awkward scrubbing your tootsies in a bucket surrounded by people who have only ever seen you in a professional setting (and then some who you've never seen before in your life), and I guess it sort of is at first, but it doesn't take long to forget about all that and enjoy yourself:)

I think I'm going to have another party of my own. Last spring I had one for my Columbus friends and hosted it at my house, but I think I may have the next one at my Aunt Pam's in Columbus so the girlies don't have to drive so far. And Andrea, you and MommaFif could possibly swing it a little easier?!?! Suzanne?? I'm thinking early summer, on the patio, with margaritas:)

Alllso great news. Well, potentially great news. I had cramps yesterday at 6dpo that were exactly like my 6dpo cramps on my BFP cycle and my girls are finally sore!! I never ever EVER would have imagined how happy cramps and sore boobs could make me or my sweet husband. I still have about 3 or 4 days until I plan on testing. But honestly and truly, if this isn't the month, it'll be OK bc then I'll still be able to go to the beach for Thanksgiving. (A BFP this cylcle would put me in my 8th month at T'day. Too far along to travel... or is it??? mwa hahahaha)

Saturday, March 29, 2008


Last weekend while driving home from my parents' Matt and I saw one of the craziest things happen at a gas station. We were pulling up to our pump when Matt said "Holy $%*!, how long are you going to let that gush, Dude?" I was distracted by all the pumps with plastic shopping bags over the handles, thinking "Wow, this place is special" so I didn't notice, until we pulled up to our pump, that the car next to us was GUSHING gasoline out of it's little gas hole thing. I don't mean a trickle, I don't even mean "I've had 6 beers and have had to pee for the last 2 hours but don't want to break the seal" bad, I'm talking Niagra Freaking Falls.

I wish I had taken a picture. But instead, notcing that no one was standing by the car, I threw myself out of our vehicle and ran inside to let someone know. Evidently the dumb woman who owns the car just set the handle on auto-fill and went inside to use the restroom. People, there's a reason for the sign that says "Do not leave vehicle unattended while pumping".

Matt shut it off for her while I was inside, and then forgot to check out how much her little mistake cost her, but we're guessing somewhere upwards of $100. It was bad. And had he not shut it off for her, it would have been closer to $150 considering she took her sweet time in the restroom, and then came to the door, looked out at the gas attendant dumping "TruSorb" everywhere and frowned, like "Get that away from my car." Clueless.

Friday, March 28, 2008


This is really funny. Seriously, watch it. I know I usually don't watch blog videos bc I'm not very patient, but if you are a female (and I'm pretty sure no men are reading my pregnancy blog, other than maybe this man).

So, yeah, watch it and you'll laugh.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


So we have baby furniture in our house and I LOVE IT! Matt's cousin offerred us her Italian baby furniture, so how could I turn it down? They're preparing to move to New York and need to downsize their stuff. Debbie could hardley stand to get rid of it, but I'm happy she asked us because I love it to pieces already and we don't even have a baby for it yet! The crib/toddler bed will be available for us in January, after they move.

Matt picked it up from their house in Columbus this morning and since I've been home all he can talk about is how cute Julia, who just turned 2, is. He told me exactly what she was wearing and how her hair was done (parted down the side with a barrette and a little curl tucked behind her ear), everything she said, how she behaved... I mean everything! All he has ever said is that he wants a little boy, at least first... I guess I can't expect much else from someone whose career is focused around sports:) But oh my gosh, hearing him gush over Julia just makes me melt. I could be wrong, but I think he's had a change of heart. (I called Debbie to pass along the compliment that Julia is "pretty cute" and she said "Yep, Matt was definitely eyeing her while he was here!")

Everything about TTC this time around is different than last time. Matt is so much more excited, rubs my tummy, gives it pep talks, talks to the little "dude" he hopes is growing inside. When I came out of our guest room after admiring the changing table, I told him how exciting it was to have baby furniture in the house and he did is signature eye brow wiggle, which equals "Bring it on!!"

So, little guys, if you've met up and are doing your thing, keep up the good work and grow strong for Momma!! We've got a designer poop station with your name all over it!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


I had a humorous blog ready to share with you guys, but then I found out some horribly tragic news about a fellow pregnancy blogger. She was finally beginning to feel a little more "safe" in her 23rd week of pregnancy with her twins when she unexpectedly lost them last night. Losing your little ones is one of the cruelest, most devastating experiences in this world and my heart just breaks for her. I'm in shock for her and hope she knows she is part of an amazing support group and will be wrapped in the arms of some incredibly helpful women.

Sunday, March 23, 2008


Today goes down in our family's book titled "Remember That (insert holiday) When..."

It started out innocently with an 8 lb turkey and one of those cleverly sucky turkey fryers that never seem to work. After submerging the turkey in the boiling hot oil, and then having a classic "Uh oh, I think we're running out of propane" moment, my step-dad did what any man would do. He quickly picked up the bucket of murderous oil, sashayed through the garage, into the living room, onto the back deck and plopped it on the gas grill side burner.

Now, I say sashayed, but really it involved much stumbling, red cheeks, and shouting "Get the dogs out of the way!"

So after Matt, Mom and I fearfully watched from the living room as he fiddled with the grill and cursed at the "damn turkey," he collected himself, came inside and proudly announced that dinner would be ready in 15 minutes. No one said a word, I think out of said fear. You don't mess with this man's meat and potatoes. He's that kind of man.

About 10 minutes later, he went back out on the deck to check on his masterpiece, only to come flying back into the house seconds later. He got to the front entryway, looked left, looked right, then dashed down the stairs to the basement. I haven't seen the man move like this in... well, ever. I turned my head to see what was happening on the deck and saw flames. FLAMES. Shooting out of the turkey! Ok, not really. They were shooting out from under the pot of boiling oil that held the turkey, but still. The grill is hooked up to a propane line that runs from under the house or next to it or down the road. Who knows. All I know is it's a long pipe and not the normal tank. The kind of pipe that could explode and send flames all along the very house in which we stood.

In lightning speed, Kirk raced out of the basement, down to the lake, onto the boat, dug through the seat compartments, ran back up the hill, back up the basement steps and pulled the pin on a fire extinguisher. And here ends the fried Easter turkey.

The moral of the story? Don't waste your time on frying a damn turkey. Just do it the right way. (Or have ham like the rest of the country.)

Saturday, March 22, 2008


I got a pre-O positive today! I am so happy that I won't have to wait until cd21 like last month, even if it is only 4 days early. Every day counts when you're waiting. There is something wierd about O'ing at your parents' house though. Becuase even though my mom wants grandkids big time right now (future blog post), my parents are still Matt's in-laws and getting jiggy with it at the in-laws is not something Matt has ever felt comfortable with. But today he had no arguments, and that makes me so happy:) When Little Weezties is on the line, all systems are a go:) I can't believe I'm blogging this.

And on a completely unrelated and wierdly transitionally note, Suzanne, the 4 of us settled in around the TV this afternoon to watch your's and Andy's wedding video and Rehearsal Dinner slideshow. I cried. Mom cried. We need to spend more time together so we can make more memories, on film, for our kids to use in their wedding slideshows. Sigh. Love you:)

Thursday, March 20, 2008


I am soooooooo happy I'm done for the week! Even though today was so much fun (The kids and I threw Ms. Shirley a surprise PINK birthday party! Pictures coming...) I am pooped. And one good thing (OK, there's more than one, but...) about working for a church, is that I get Good Friday off! Too bad I have a bajillion articles to write, so tonight I'm revisiting my college days and writing til the wee hours of the morning.

Do you know what though? I never once pulled an all-nighter in college. I don't plan on starting now, either.

Happy 1st day of Spring!!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Yesterday I asked Matt, "Do you think this will be our month?"

"Yes," he said, simply and without hesitation.

I wish I shared such simplistic confidence.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


This cycle we are 100% determined to follow all the rules, time everything as best we can and hope for the absolute greatest reward in the end. Which is why, despite having the flu, I did not turn my sweetie down for Day 1 of the Sperm Meets Egg Plan (no lie, it's real! Google it). Wait, actually I did. On the real Day 1 I was still erupting... the NEXT day, however, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps, and got down to business! SMEP is a bit involved, and while sex week usually starts out fun, Sex 12+ days (if I O on cd21 again, like last cycle) could lose its luster pretty fast.

So, listen up, Eggies. They are coming for you. FULL FORCE! One of you better get yourself packed and ready to go make a new friend because the boys are back in town!

Also, after experiencing what I can only imagine to be labor-like contractions during my miscarriage, the horrendous pain of gall stone attacks, and the insane cramping the comes with both food poisoning (Honeymoon) and this latest dose of Norovirus, I told Matt that, despite what I've always said about wanting to try my best for natural childbirth, I have no business attempting a natural delivery. I can deal with pain, for the most part. Really, I'm a pretty tough cookie. But I am not good with stomach/abdominal/internal/on-again-off-again pain. I will gladly accept an epidural when the time comes.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


I've had a lot of time to watch daytime television over the last few days. Some thoughts on that:

Drew Carrey is awful on "The Price is Right"

The grooms on "A Wedding Story" are all pansies and cry more than all the men I've ever seen cry in my life... combined

While the crotch shots on "A Baby Story" don't gross me out quite like they did when we'd sit around watching "A Wedding Story" at my sorority house and "A Baby Story" would would come on without anyone realizing, I still don't think I really want my baby taken directly from my vag and placed onto my chest. I would be more than happy to let my little one get towelled off, bundled and then handed to me, snug as a bug in a rug. And as far as pulling my child out of my own hole? No way.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know if those pretend street signs that signal a commercial break on "What Not To Wear" that say "White Permitted After Labor Day" and "Matching Shoes and Handbag Required" are serious or not. I mean I know at one time you weren't supposed to wear white after Labor Day, but then I thought that was no longer, but then why would they confuse fashion disasterous viewiers with false advertisement, and OH! These signs are playing with my mind! Help me, Stacy and Clinton.

Flipping a house could be fun if someone else was paying for it.

CNN Headline News plays the same story loop over and over, all day long. I thought airports had their own special CNN station, but it turns out it's the same one we get at home! I guess I've never stayed tuned more than an hour at home.

I'm so thankful Pedigree changed the end of their dog kennel commercial. It is SO much better now!

Does anyone know who sings the song in the Cheerios/Pampers commercial with the dad trying to get his baby to say "Daddy"... it starts "If you needed me I'd be there.."?

Umm, I think that's it:)

Friday, March 14, 2008


I have the flu. The stomach kind.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Kids can be so wierd. Sometimes I just listen in to little groups playing in their centers or socializing while doing their table work, and I'll hear the most random, silly conversations. The role playing is the best... one time Kylie and another child were playing in the dollhouse and Kylie was the mom/wife. I heard her say to the dad/husband "Who was that woman you were with last night?" No kidding.

A couple weeks ago Sierra came running into the room, excited to tell me that her Mommy (a school psychologist) was finally home from her trip to the place with beads where you show your boobies. Trailing behind her was her dad (Spanish teacher at our Christian private school). All I could say to him was "Ohh, the things we know about you guys!"

Nap time usually brings out the wierdest tendancies. Every class has a humper. We have three. Some children have no interest in humping, but choose to sing in a whisper, play itsy-bitsy spider (and other variations), fart, do bridges, give themselves rocker girl hairstyles, shake, roll over, sit up, (beg?), take 30 trips to the bathroom. Sometimes I just sit and watch and think "children are the wierdest creatures on the face of this earth." I'll take one!

I want a strange kid who tells crazy stories and keeps his/her teachers on their toes, who loves to cuddle, will sit on anyone's lap, will tell stories until I don't think I can possibly keep my eyes open one second longer, who wants to do everything Mommy or Daddy does, who wants to grow up to be a Mommy or Daddy or Firefighter or Teacher or whatever else 5-year olds dream of being.

I want a family. My own family. My own wierd family.

Friday, March 7, 2008


Hooray! AF finally came! I never thought I'd be so happy to get my period. After 35 days of waiting and wondering how long we'd have to sit around waiting to try again, the wait is over:)

Now for the crap news... I'm sicker than sick! Thankfully it's not the flu, just a cold, but mylanta, colds sure do suck the big one! With the snowstorm coming in later this morning (8-14 inches!!), I stayed home from school. Yesterday during nap, I counted 6 children plus myself cough, cough, coughing. It's no wonder I'm always sick.

I'm hoping to use this time to get started on some writing as I haven't written a single article since before my m/c. It's hard to find the motivation sometimes, but once I get started I remember how fun it is and quickly get back into the swing of things:)

Thursday, March 6, 2008


I've been listening to books on CD while driving to and from work the last few weeks. At first I couldn't tolerate the voice of the first reader, but the story (Size 12 Is Not Fat, by Meg Cabot) eventually got good enough to stick it out. I just finished Mitch Albom's For One More Day and was telling Matt about it when he responded "That's the book Mom gave me for Christmas... I just read it a few weeks ago. Pretty good, huh?" Considering the book is about a man who receives one more day to tell his deceased mother how much he loves and appreciates what an amazing woman she was, I was a little throw-uppy.

Speaking of my Mother-In-Law, she called last night. I made an executive decision to hit "Ignore" on the grounds of complete and total awkwardness. When I listened to her voicemail this morning, I think I saw red and started spewing smoke from my ear holes. Just the sound of her voice, speaking to me as if everything was normal...

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


Last night Midas threw up FIVE times. Needless to say, we didn't get much sleep. I even laid down with him on the floor for part of the night because I felt so bad for the poor guy. Animals are so helpless when they're sick or hurt, it just breaks my heart.

It a twist of fate, Matt had his 14th calamity day, due to flooding, so he was able to stay home and make sure the bub's was A-OK, which he was:) So Matt came to Lancaster to meet me for lunch at Red Lobster!

And then the day ended with my sweet little Micah having explosive diarrhea, while simultaneously spitting into my mouth. This is one time when hand washing simply cannot prevent the spread of the flu!

Normally I go to Starbucks on Wednesdays for my lunch/rest break, since my Newsweek comes in the mail each Tuesday. But since Matt came to meet me for lunch today, tomorrow will be my Starbucks day, which makes me so very happy:)

Still no AF. I am onto the 35th day of this cycle.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


One of Matt's students had her baby last weekend. She's 15. I've been asking about her regularly for the last couple months because I thought I was genuinely concerned for her. Turns out, I have some deep resentment towards her and hearing that she finally had her healthy baby girl, after a smooth and healthy pregnancy, with a close-knit family that will hopefully take good care of the baby made me sad and angry. I should be happy that this baby is healthy. That the mother is healthy. That the baby might possibly stand a chance at a decent future. But I'm not. Instead I wonder why. Why her and not me? Why a 15-year old girl who stood in the bathroom one day, terrified, probably begging God for the test to be negative, was given a precious life to care for while I sit on the sidelines, desperate to become a mother. Desperate to create a life. Desperate to bring a child into this world and give it every opportunity. I can't make sense of God's plan.

Monday, March 3, 2008


Tonight I am bitter and crabby. I feel like I am on the verge of a big fat cry and my only reason is that I hate everything right now. Life is so ****ing unfair.

Sunday, March 2, 2008


The retreat, while mildly entertaining, was for the most part annoying and long, so thankfully it's over. You would think that being surrounded by a group of 50+ women with a median age of probably 65 would result in minimal baby/pregnancy chatter, but you would be quite wrong, in fact. I'm just glad it's over. Seriously.

My temp also dropped both mornings, pretty much ruling out a BFP for this month. One more month of hope for a baby in 2008.

Here is the final product:)