9.6.08

I have a registry phobia. Matt and I (with the help of Julia!) have created 2 registries and a total of 3 people know about them, one of those being Julia:) Lisa and my mom are the other two. I don't know what my deal is, but I am so embarrassed by them. Probably for the same reasons that I have a hard time making Christmas lists and also why I have near anxiety meltdowns over having to open presents in front of people at birthdays, Christmas... and, yes, showers. I don't know how to handle it. I get sweaty, nervous, and nauseas because I want everyone to feel like their gift was the absolute greatest and I want them to feel special and appreciated and one of a kind. But sometimes that is a lot of pressure to handle! Especially when, and I hate to say it, but well, sometimes you can't fake it:( And when a dozen or more sets of eyes are on you, waiting for that great reaction, it's downright scary!

So here's what usually goes down... wedding, Christmas, birthdays and probably now, baby. After procrastinating for weeks, a list/registry/word-of-mouth "I think she wants (fill in the blank) will be made and then within days, maybe weeks, I go buy everything myself. Yes, I realize the whole point is to help give people ideas for gifts that I truly would like, but I guess I always feel like people don't really want to buy the gifts anyway, they're just doing it because they feel obligated to come to the shower or because they know I'll be giving them a birthday, Christmas, etc. gift. I probably sound like a sad, pathetic wierdo. But seriously, do you REALLY enjoy attending showers? OK, maybe you do and I'm just a freak whose insecurities get in the way of enjoying these things, but I think we've already established that I have issues. Right? Right.

Well, anyway, to illustrate my issues, someone asked me to register with Land of Nod, one of my favorite children's stores. I love just about everything on every page of their catalog. I finally found bedding that I love, which up until now has been a challenge because I hadn't even found anyt that I like. So I went through the catalog, circled the things I love the most, got ready to create the registry and then bought all of my bedding instead:) And now I feel guilty for even getting excited over all this "stuff" when all I really want is this little baby to be here and healthy and smiling and making us gushfully crazy. All the "things" seem so silly.