Saturday, September 20, 2008

9.20.08

When I was a freshman in college, people used to comment on how happy I always was. I walked around campus with a smile on my face pretty much all the time. I loved my school, loved my classes, had great friends... there was no reason for me to not be happy! One guy, who I ended up dating, even nicknamed me Smiles. I think that's a nice nickname. Come to think of it, I remember hearing this in high school, too, which is crazy considering I moved to a new state and school the summer of my junior year and had a miserable time adjusting. I didn't want anyone to know that though and I do find it easier to be happy than sad. At least no one questions your happiness... people who question your sadness don't always REALLY want the full explanation. And that's a lot of effort on both parts.

By my junior year of college I realized I never really heard those comments anymore. Junior year was also my toughest, academically, and I lived in a sorority house, which probably wasn't the smartest decision of my life, but looking back wasn't as bad as I thought at the time. It was just a hard year.

Since I returned to my job in July, looking obviously pregnant and feeling the greatness of being past the first trimester, I started hearing things in the hallways, like "You're always so happy", "You have the greatest smile", "You're glowing", "Are there twins in there?" (OK, that one slipped in-- but seriously someone asked me "November, right?" and when I said, "Nope, January" her jaw dropped and apologized, LOL.)

I chalked it all up to those pregnancy "glow" hormones at first, but the more I hear it, the more clear it is to me that I look this way because I feel this way! I am so happy and the smile on my face is a fraction of what I feel in my heart. How can I not walk around smiley, cheerful and upbeat when I am finally living the life that I feel I was created to live. I'm going to be a mom! Very soon! There's no other way for me to walk through the halls of my school. And when people tell me I'm waddling or that I am walking a little slower these days, I feel completely validated inside. I couldn't care less if I look funny... my kid did this to me and I'm kind of proud of it:)

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

Aw, that's so awesome. I think Smiles is a good nickname for you. People used to think I was mad all the time because I'm usually so deep in thought that my face gets all scrunched up and I look mad.

I'm going to work harder at trying to smile more!

I have a sneaky suspicion that I'm going to feel the same way you do. "Go ahead and say I'm waddling and look like I'm having triplets. I've waited a long time for this waddle!"

Write it down. One day I'm going to write that post =)

buckeyebabe99 said...

I used to have the same things said to me. I had one boyfriend say that he never saw me without a smile on my face :).

BTW - found another t-shirt for you!

http://t-shirts.cafepress.com/item/future-buckeye-maternity-tshirt/205630732#

K-tell said...

Hey, that is a new one! Thanks, Trisha!

Kami said...

Yes, Smiles is very appropriate for you! I hear you girl, Junior year was the worst year I've ever had...but I learned so much about myself, and I feel that everything happens for a reason.

PS- you look absolutely beautiful in your picture! And very happy.