Friday, April 3, 2009

4.3.09

I love that the comments from last night's post were from a mother and daughter! I believe that makes two pairs of mother/daughter readers. How fun!!

It's certainly a special bond, that of a mother and her little girl. I'm learning every day that the relationship Lilly and I have will always be different than the relationship she has with her daddy. I think both are equally special and I'm sure during those challenging teen-age years she will prefer her daddy over me, but hopefully as she gets beyond that phase, she'll come back around to me;) No matter what, there is something to be said about the bond between a mother and her child.

This week I have noticed a different look behind Lilly's eyes when she sees me outside of home. When I walk into the nursery at school and pick up another baby or if I step in to talk to a teacher and she hears my voice, she used to kind of give me a "hey, yeah, I think I might know you... anyway, check out my hands" kind of glance. But this week she flat out stares me down. A few times I tried to avoid eye contact (as if I'd really be pulling a fast one on her...) but eventually I couldn't stand it and would peek over to find her looking straight at me, not blinking, not moving a muscle. Today she was rocking in the glider while getting a bottle and she craned her neck to find me when she heard my voice.

It makes me a little sad when I have to walk away, knowing that she knows I was there, but at the same time I love knowing that she knows me! Her mommy! And I also know that she is in excellent care. I've never walked in and found her crying, not once. They rarely put her in her crib to sleep because someone is either holding her or she's happy in her bouncy seat or the swing. She even has her favorite teachers who she laughs with.

I think back to even one month ago and can't believe how much my little Lillian has changed. I see a couple dozen smiles a day, a good number of laughs and endless moments where I know that she knows I'm her mommy. I love it more than I ever thought I could love something or someone. Just driving to work this morning, I was thinking about how much I love Lilly and my eyes filled with tears for no reason other than because I love her. She, no we, have come a long way since December 19th.

Lilly, I am so very deeply, unconditionally, unequivocally, undoubetdly and whole-heartedly in love with you! You are my baby girl.

3 comments:

Fumbling Towards Adulthood said...

"a 'hey, yeah, I think I might know you... anyway, check out my hands' kind of glance" -- L. to the O. to the L. on this one, girlfreen. :)

The love that you have for Lilly makes my heart so happy, HL. You waited so long for something so amazingly special, and to know that you have it and that it makes you filled with such joy is the greatest blessing for me, as your friend, to witness!

Love & miss you!

Trisha.R.Jackson said...

Isn't it awesome? We've been testing Delaney and sure enough, she knows my voice and what I look like, without a doubt. My dad found out the hard way last night when I walked in and out of the room several times. Each time, she'd see me and cry that he was holding her. I have to whisper so that she doesn't hear my voice when someone else has her :). I Love it.

Jessica said...

i always thought i would end up with a house full of boys, but from the very beginning of my last pregnancy i just knew it was a girl. i had no idea how much i had wanted a girl until the u/s tech said, "you were right--it's a girl!" i teared up then went straight to target to buy girl crib bedding and a frilly little dress. :)

seriously, just looking at chloe and her little smile sometimes so overwhelms me. i cherish the relationship i have with my mom and i look forward to having the same with my daughter.

jwally