Sunday, July 27, 2008


I got peed on!

Yesterday Matt and I were walking Midas around the neighborhood. Midas' friends Frank and Millie were out playing in their yard, so we stopped for a visit. While Matt and I talked to the dogs' owner, Frank proceeded to lift his leg in the grass, and I happened to notice his forceful jetstream coming too close for comfort, so I stepped away.

A few minutes later, in the middle of hearing about Deborah's trip to Colorado, I noticed the back of my left leg felt cool. Thinking how odd it was to feel cool on such a warm day, but not wanting to appear uninterested in Deborah's story, I reached down and felt wetness on the calf of my pants. I casually looked back and noticed my black pants were noticably darker black with little splatter marks surrounding the wet spot. "Oh my God, did I pee my pants?" I thought, horrified. "I don't remember peeing. I'm dry everywhere else. I couldn't have."

I continued listening, trying not to laugh as I caught a glimpse of Matt watching this unfold. That's when I realized my right calf felt "cool" as well. It hit me that somewhere between Frank's turbo pee and me stepping aside, I had been MARKED. I was Frank's now.

At this point, I'd had enough of Colorado and asked Midas if he was ready to continue on his walk. Since he can't speak, I took his doggy oblivion as a yes and told Deborah we'd get together soon for a play date (the dogs, not us).

Matt and I laughed the whole way home as we tried to figure out how I never noticed Frank peeing on not one, but both of my legs.

I'm just glad I hadn't peed on myself!


Jennifer said...

Ew! And dog pee smells so bad! You know who to call if you ever get stung by a jellyfish!

Fumbling Towards Adulthood said...

UGGGGGGGH! I am so sorry, HL. Although I am chuckling at your description (because your writing is so entertaining!), I feel for you. If it makes you feel any better, Josh's dog lifted his leg and peed on my Vera-Bradley-knock-off tote today at the lake. Dear Lord.

So, so sorry that I wasn't able to touch base with you this weekend! Not my intention at all, but I will carve out some time either tomorrow or Tuesday. Promise!

Love you!

Baby and Me said...

Oh no! But that is so funny! I am glad you didnt pee yourself too!

Bryna said...

HAHAHAHA! Sorry, it's funny. :) If it ever happens to me, you can laugh too.