I went back to work today and was surprised by how good it felt to be out of the house, back in a functioning state of mind. The morning started off a little rough, crying for most of the 30 minute drive, followed by a few OK moments, followed by the first, "Are you feeling better today?" All day long, teachers and parents wanted to know "How was your day off?", "Were you sick?", "Did you party too hard after the game Sunday night?", etc. The male sub who is STILL in my room walked in and the first thing he said was "You're in trouble." I don't blame him though... I'm sure my class was a peach without either of the regular teachers present.
I told just a couple people and was overwhelmed by the love and compassion that surrounded me. One teacher held me in her arms and prayed for me. One parent who I have become particularly close with burst into tears. I will say it's awesome working in a Christian environment, especially during rough times. There is certainly no lack of support. And to be able to collapse in my director's office and cry together is a huge blessing that I wish more people could experience (minus all the bad stuff leading up to the need to collapse and cry).
So, today is over. Thank goodness. Seeing pregnant bellies, watching parents dump their kids off with me when it's dark and come back for them when it's even darker, and dealing moms who find their child's ear ache a nuissance... yes, it sucked. But feeling two little arms wrap around me from behind to squeeze me full of love... and then returning 5 minutes later with the added comment "My mommy said to give you an even bigger hug*"... that's why I love my job and I hold on to the hope that someday those little arms will be my own kiddo's.
*Lily begins 95% of her sentences with "My mommy said..." :) Her mom was an hour away at school. BUT, she still said! I can't argue with that:)