8.29.08

Had a very good doctor's appointment today. Little Beansie's heart was thumping away in the 140's-150's. I know it starts to slow down a little as the baby grows and I think it started in the 160's, and last time was in the 150's, so sounds about right!

The nurse laughed at me for taking my shoes off to get weighed. She said by winter I won't care. I laughed and said "By winter I won't be able to take my shoes off!" You better believe I'm taking advantage of that while I can:)

The exciting news is that we don't have to wait until 24-26 weeks for our next ultrasound. Only 6 more days!!! Thursday at 8am. I have some deal making to do with this little squirt. No more shenanigans when it's time to perform. I'll throw in some doughnuts or a Big Mac if that's what it takes.

8.27.08

21 weeks! Last night while watching TV in bed, Matt reached over and put his hand on my lower belly, where the baby kicks. For a second I almost told him "Nothing's going on, you probably won't feel anything" but I thought better of it and wanted him to feel for himself rather than me always telling him what's going on. I had my doubts though since I hadn't felt anything in a couple hours. Sure enough, about 10 seconds later, kapow! Just one. Just enough for Matt to look up at me and say "Ho-ly Jesus!" It was a big one. Baby made Dad proud. And then went back to sleep:)

8.26.08

Since this is going to be the.longest.week.ever, a motivational post is in order.

This weekend Matt and I are going to Pigeon Forge with David and Lisa. It was a very last-minute trip, which I'm thankful for because I'm so darn excited I don't think I could wait longer than a week! I can't wait to relax and spend time with our wonderful friends!

And since I'm the 26-year old version of an old lady and wake up at 6am, I'm also looking forward to sitting outside on the deck in the am with a cup of coffee (my first in 21 weeks!) while "drinking in the views" as the website so cleverly puts it.

And speaking of the views... here they are!

8.25.08

I'm boring today. In baby news, I popped over to help out in the nursery for a half hour this morning and rocked a screaming, crying 4 month old to sleep in my arms (And let me tell you that she was a hefty 4 month old! I definitely do not have mommy arms yet!) and tried, unsuccessfully, to calm a screaming 12 week old who was furious with the world.

Despite the shreaks coming from the two little sets of lungs, I didn't mind it all that much. I tried to imagine hearing baby cries in my own house and it kind of made me excited. (Yeah, yeah, I know I'll eat those words, but I'm also looking forward to changing the baby's diaper on the new changing table... what do you have to say about that?!)

And tonight is The Hills. (Suzanne, I totally heard Lauren say "I know, right?" on the premiere episode. It has made its way to the West Coast, haha.)

8.24.08

This is for Newtlet, whose baby shares my baby's scary monster looks. Most people get cute little profile shots and go "Oh! He has my nose!" but not us. Ours looked straight into the camera, cocked their heads to the side and said "BOO!"

As they say... a face only a mother could love:)

8.24.08

Last night Matt and I decided to dive into Target's Baby Registry since we rarely have time drive to Lancaster together and not be rushed. I was tired and he couldn't care less about Diaper Champs and rectal thermometers, but it ended up being pretty fun. He slid into his roll as scanner like most men, complete with twirling the scanner around and sticking it in his gun holster before the first item was ever scanned. He made sure to throw it some odd-ball items, like a bag of Doritos, Gerber biscuits and a container of Similac Advanced (great, since I'm planning to breastfeed!). But it kept him entertained, so I couldn't complain.

I thought it would be harder to register for a mystery baby than it actually was. I don't plan on registering for clothing, really, so that wasn't an issue and for items that came in boy/girl only colors, we just registered for both! I can go back and delete whatever doesn't apply if Little Beansies decides to come out at our next ultrasound.

We went out to Max & Ermas afterwards and had a yummy dinner, complete with free banana cream pie to enjoy later! And enjoy I did:)

8.23.08

Today is the day I've been waiting for... for the last 24 hours:) I scheduled a pregnancy massage for this afternoon to hopefully help with all the hip pain I've been having. It started as a nighttime problem, but is now becoming a morning/afternoon/night deal. I know it's all normal growing pains, but why not enjoy a little massage now and then??? I talked to a friend at work who is a licensed massage therapist and she said this spa gives you the option having of an outdoor massage in the trees! It may be too hot for that today, but that just means I'll have to schedule another massage in a few weeks:)

8.21.08

It's surprising just how early on you start to depend on your child. As soon as you find out you're pregnant, it begins. With mixed caution and excitement, you're already depending, deep down, on your little one to hang in there and keep growing strong-- "Just give me until I can hear your heartbeat, baby". For those who make it to that milestone, the dependence starts to stretch a little further. Next it's "Just make it through this first trimester, baby!" and then "Come on, baby, let's get halfway there", which soon becomes "Please, let's try for 10 more weeks" and so on. But all along, you build a dependence on your future and that future revolves completely around this life that you are begging and willing to grow healthily.

This morning I sat down to eat breakfast-- cereal and juice. A sip of juice is like a can of Red Bull for a fetus. Mine starts kicking and flailing about within seconds. But this morning? Nothing. All was still. I looked down at my belly and whispered in my head, "Please, sweetie. Just once." Without realizing how much I was depending on the teeny little 20 week old baby doing all it can to grow and survive, I felt one small kick. With that tiny kick, I felt immensley proud and comforted. That's my child in there! Doing the one thing he/she could to help poor Mom out.

I can only imagine how amazing it must feel to witness watching your child help someone up from a fall, bring home a good report card, learn how to swim, make it through the first day of school. We depend on our kiddies to make it in this world and to have millions of small successes along the way. Often, we probably don't realize that we are actually depending on them, but I'm sure it is clear when you see them bring home a terrible report card, push another child down, throw a fit and give up on swimming, and...I dunno, run away from school?!?! (ok, that one was hard) But parents also have an innate ability to forgive, forget and continue on wishing and depending as if nothing ever happened, and that has got to be a God-given blessing.

I guess what I'm saying is, I had no idea that parenting, and all the emotions associated with it, starts at conception. That fully invested, deeply in love, wholehearted wish for the best, webbed together, is a recipe for a little dependence here and there.

8.20.08

I have a confession to make.

I think 3-D ultrasounds are really, really creepy. The babies look like they're made of drippy wax, with the occasional mucous globule floating by.

But I also confess that if our next ultrasound isn't fruitful in the continuation of Crotch Watch '08, I might just fork out actual cash money to get a 3-D image of Little Beansie's genetalia. In all their melty, waxy, fire-victim globuleness.

20 weeks... HALFWAY THERE!!!!!!!

(I think I forget which way to stand EVERY week. My memory is not the best these days!)

8.18.08

On today's "Day Off" To-Do List:

1. Clean out the bedroom closet.

2. Work on finishing a couple quilts.

3. Cook for the week since it's a late one:( Ugh.

Today is Matt's first day back to school with the teachers. The kids start Wednesday. He woke me up to say goodbye this morning and in my fuzziness I realized he was wearing a suit, told him he looked nice, and told him I loved him. Then I prayed that he'd have a safe drive to and from work (it's a windy drive, through a National Forest and I worry about him EVERY DAY). About an hour later I kicked myself for not dragging my butt out of bed to take his 1st day of school picture! Maybe Wednesday:) Principal Matt. Sigh.

8.16.08

My heart is broken for a nestie who is going through another miscarriage tonight. I am so sad for her and wish that this awful reality wasn't so real. I hate miscarriage.

If you would like to leave her an uplifting message, I'm sure a little extra support would help her broken heart. Just click on "Making a Baby From Scratch" on my blog list.

Big hugs!!!

8.16.08

I would do almost anything for a soda right now. (Anything but get in the car and go get one). I am thisclose to sending Midas out into the neighborhood with a sign around his neck reading "Please return me to my mom, along with a Coke."

And you know what? I could pretty much guarentee it would work.

I'm also considering checking out Don and Vera's refrigerator as they are currently on vacation and I happen to know their garage code. Don't think I won't;)

8.15.08

Today has been glorious:)

I went to work at 8am, worked like crazy to get everything done, checked out at noon, picked up lunch and 2 chick flicks and have since spent the afternoon on the couch in my PJ's. And guess who's taking the day off Monday? Mmm hmm.

One of the greatest parents in my class last year, who is also a teacher at my school, brought in a Tote full of maternity clothes for me. Sorting through it was like opening presents on Christmas morning, only better, because I could tell she had re-washed everything for me and folded it just right. It was like opening a big box of hugs, especially because she has walked this same road as me and was a huge support for me this year. It makes me really happy that she would share her much-loved "things" with me.

I'm watching the deleted scenes from Juno (which, after waiting like 5 months, I finally got to see the ending just now) and that girl is darn hilarious. You can tell from the outtakes that she's pretty much the same way in real life.

Coming tomorrow: "My Adventures in Babies 'R Us", otherwise known as "Getting Caught in a Breastfeeding Class by Accident". More on that later.

8.12.08

A few pictures:)

19 weeks


A very unflattering photo of me watching the Beanse on the monitor last week.


After whimpering about not having enough pillows while at my parents last weekend, Matt took the house by storm and returned with every pillow he could find for his whiny, pregnant wife.

8.11.08

I am really struggling with something and could use a little help.

I am 100% at my wit's end with my mother in law. I cannot handle her. But she's my mother in law-- I have to handle her. I have tried so hard to see her for the good person she can be, despite all the crappy things she pulls on Matt and me. Just when I think I've gotten past her latest upset, she strikes again. Every single time.

I need to be able to forgive her, right? But how do you forgive someone who hurts you repeatedly and seems to have no sense of consideration? If it were anyone else, I'd just dismiss them from my life and be done, but that's not really an option here. I am way beyond wanting a friendly relationship with her-- that's just not realistic. But a relationship that doesn't have me wanting to pull my hair out (and hers too) would do wonders. My heartrate speeds up and I get nauseas at the mere mention of her name, so you can imagine how I feel when her number pops up or when we have to visit with them in person. It's bad enough that if I weren't pregnant, I would probably ask my doctor for some sort of anxiety drugs (and that's not completely out for the future).

If anyone has some practical input here, other than the usualy "Yes, your mother in law is a crazy lunatic. I wish I could help. I'm really lucky, I have a great mother in law!" I really need it:( I have to figure out how to make this work.

8.9.08

It's a....




Mystery baby!!! Our little goober decided it would be a good morning to sit breech, right smack on my bladder so no one could see what s/he's made of. That stinker!

The great news is the ultrasound tech used the word "perfect" several times and showed us the brain, stomach, feet, hands (complete with a wave from baby!), the jaw open and close, umbillical cord (with blood flowing... so neat!), the arm, the LONG legs... and the beautiful heartbeat.

She kindly told us she would include in her report that she did not see a bladder, which is true. However, she saw functioning kidneys, so she knows the bladder is there, but this way our insurance should cover a 3rd ultrasound. Hooray!!

We're to go back between 24 and 26 weeks, which seems like a lifetime away, but she likes to play it safe in case a penis is present. She makes no boy guarentees until she sees testicles, which don't show up until 24-26 weeks.

So wait we will! I'm so happy baby is healthy and going strong! How could I be disappointed knowing that everything is "perfect"? We'll find out one way or another... even if we have to wait until January 7th!

8.8.08

It's here! It's here! Today I get to see Little Beansies again!!! Last time, s/he was just a peanut with a heartbeat... but not today! I am so excited and it's awesome to feel him kicking away as I write this so I have all the confidence in the world that this baby is going strong:)

We'll be driving to my parents' house after work today, getting in late, so I'll probably have to update in the morning.

Yay!!!

8.7.08

I am so excited that tomorrow is:

a) Friday
b) Olympic opening ceremonies at 8:00 on 08/08/08
c) Jell-O day at school
d) The day we find out if I'm growing girl parts or boy parts in ma belly!


Actually, all of the above, but MOSTLY d:) We have to be at the hospital at 8:45am and this time I don't even have to drink 32 oz of water an hour beforehand, which... is torture to ask of a pregnant woman at 7 weeks, let alone 18.

Some people say they could tell right away if they saw a penis on their ultrasound-- others had a Rachel moment like on "Friends" and couldn't tell what in the world they were looking at. I hope I can't tell on my own. In fact, I kind of don't even want the sonographer to tell us herself, but I'm 99% sure I won't be able to wait, especially since Matt and I both have to rush off to work to do some interviews at work, totally ruining the post-ultrasound high. BOOOOO.

So stay tuned! Penis Watch '08 is in full effect in t-minus 24 hours and counting.

8.6.08

I have someone close to me who I love dearly, but who-- no matter what-- will find the one negative aspect of an otherwise happy moment and point it out. I've gotten good at just pretending I never even hear the comment, but it really fires me up inside.

As Andrea says, "Some people just don't get it."

vent over.

8.6.08

*Choke*

In a few days I'll be halfway to full term.

8.5.08

Fevers and rashes and fluids, oh my! The last 48 hours have been filled with sick little babies in the nursery. It's so hard to see a little one, so helpless, and so uncomfortable:( Four of the babies ended up having Hand, Foot & Mouth disease, 1 child had Fifths Disease (not in the nursery, but a sister to a baby), and 2 had varying forms of diarrhea and vomiting. Wowzers!! Needless to say, I've been banned from entering classrooms for the time being. Thankfully I'm immune to Fifths Disease, phew.

I just hope those little bambinos get better very soon!

I have 2 pics today:) The first is from yesterday... 4 people stopped me in the halls to say "You have really popped!" This is the first anyone has said those words, so hearing it times 4 must mean some poppin' took place over night. Which, of course warranted a photo for the baby book;) Unfortunately, it was a scrub day, so if anything, I look smaller!



18 weeks eve:

8.4.08

Do you see the woman in the center of the picture holding the baby? That's my OB. Ok, silly. That's not really my OB; that's Ma from Little House on the Prairie. But it might as well be my OB because they look and act very much alike. Now imagine having this conversation with Ma:

Dr. Ma: Go ahead and lay down on the table and we'll see if we can hear the baby.

Dr. Ma: So the burning-- does it hurt while you're emptying your bladder?

Me: No, not really. More before and after.

Dr. Ma: Does it hurt during sex?

Me: *Pause* Oh. We don't... do that. Sex.

Dr. Ma: *Laughs* You know, sex won't hurt anything.

Me: (I think I just made a face out of sheer embarrassment)

Dr. Ma: There's an old wive's tale that says if you have sex when you're further along, it can induce labor. Maybe you'll have to test that when it comes time?!

Me: Oh, God. Maybe!

8.3.08

This is a long post. Lots to say!

Babycakes can hear me now! According to the site where I get these updates, loud noises startle the baby, but classial music is soothing. If it wouldn't put me to sleep I'd start playing at work or in the car, but I have a bad feeling about that. I can barely stay awake as it is.


Baby's skeleton is hardening, changing from rubbery cartilage to bone, and fat is finally accumulating around it. The umbilical cord is getting thicker and stronger, and those little fingers and toes are now topped by one-of-a-kind prints.

We had a great weekend with friends and family! I am getting really bad at taking pictures though and took a whopping 1 photo the whole weekend. Otherwise I'd have a nice photo montage to share, including our night with Beth and Justin and Apple Valley Lake, Matt's surprise celebration dinner at P.K. O'Ryans with Joe, Barb, Andy and their newest addition, Charlie (hello, great name!), my lunch with Danielle (score 1 for taking a picture here!), and dinner with my brother at my aunt's house.

Tonight Mike gave us some exciting news that I am anxious to see come to fruition. I am so happy he moved to the same suburb as my aunt because we get to see him more than ever in my whole post-high-school life. He always asks for baby updates and requested a phone call as soon as we have news on Friday... when we find out if we're having a little Brooke or a little Charlie!!! I never would have imagined being close enough to my brother to give him OB updates, but I do call him after appointments and it's fun to hear him get excited about the new babies joining the family.

So yes, we find out Friday! I can hardley believe it's time. Last Friday I made an unexpected trip to the doctor to beg for another opinion on my "UTI" that was not getting better, despite the antibiotics. The nurse did a urinalysis, which came back negative, but then she noticed it had changed when she went back out to get her stethoscope and realized that there were, in fact, leukocytes present. She did another dip and wouldn't you know? Momma Katie was right. When will doctors start trusting that we know our bodies? The doctor ended up doing my OB appt. stuff that would normally have been tomorrow, so I got to hear Little Beansies heart strongly beating in the 150's. And this time she found it right away. Phew!

I gained a little weight this time around, but I gained nothing in the 1st trimester and in all honesty, it was 4 pounds, so it's not like I went off the deep end. My appetite is so much different than the 1st tri-- sometimes I'm not even hungry at meal times, which I'm not sure has ever happened. In my life.

Also, is it crazy that I'm thisclose to buying this Pack 'n Play already? I'm so not even close to needing a Pack 'n Play in this house, but I love the look of it, and the colors match our living room perfectly... and the price is darn good. It's on sale this week, so the price won't last, if I really want it. Maybe Baby Bargains will have some insight. *Update* BB rates Graco as #1 for Playpens and even showed a picture of either this PnP or a very similar one. I think I might do it!