Lilly had a rough night last night-- lots of vomiting, heaving, choking and just all-together unpleasantness. She was the perfect patient though. She would start to do her thing, I'd grab her out of her crib (or eventually her Pack-n-Play in our room so I could sleep without worrying about her choking), tip her forward and rub her back until she was calm and then she'd flop her head on my shoulder until I put her back down in her bed.
I only slept from about 3-5am, but around 11am she woke up, took a small, diluted bottle, closed her eyes and went to sleep in my arms. Watching her sleep peacefully for the first time was what it was all about. She rested her hand on my chest and slept with her mouth open, only moving or making the tiniest noises now and then. I was able to see her sleeping face, which I don't really ever see. The blood vessels in her eyelids were broken and she had red patches around her eyes, but she looked so innocent and beautiful!
It's no fun when Lilly is sick, but I always have a moment when I feel like this is how bonds are created and this is how my child comes to know me as her mother, the person who will protect her and take care of her forever.